CORE CONCEPTS
Identity, Values and Strengths
In this post I will be exploring who I am – my core values, strengths, and identity
It is an interesting exercise to be reflecting on my values and who I am at this point... especially on a Saturday night! It makes me realise how much I have changed, not just over the years, but also in 6 months, heck even in one month! (I know 18 year old me would be asking what on earth I am doing in a library on a Saturday night, even 26 year old me is questioning it a little).
I have been privileged to be born a New Zealander, to a family who have given me love and support as I have grown (and the occasional jab here and there of course), in a country that mostly respects the rights of an individual, and although may be far from perfect, is really not a bad place to be.
The wonderful thing about New Zealand being a fairly young country is that it is a melting pot of cultures, which I believe makes myself and most of NZ rather open and accepting to others, and their own ideas of identity and beliefs. The other side of being a ‘kiwi’ is that we (speaking for myself here?) deeply dislike conflict, and go to greeeeat lengths to avoid it at any cost – something I am trying to overcome, where appropriate of course.. let’s say if the coffee is too cold I will be sure to let you know, but if you sing at an open mic night and it’s terrible, weeeeeell I’ll still clap and smile sweetly!
Growing up on a not so tropical island, isolated from the rest of the world is probably what sparked my passion for travel, that and the fact that not so far down the family line my relatives descended from Holland. While travelling I faced A LOT of ethical dilemmas … the most heart-breaking of all for me is probably the human suffering (and animal suffering inflicted by humans but that's a topic for another day!).
Most prominent was the first time I was asked for money by a kid begging on the street, this caused a lot of internal conflict – it was late at night and I was in Thailand, the kid was asking for money, and was probably only about 7 years old (If that) I couldn’t see her parents and part of me knew I wouldn’t miss the money if I gave it to her.. the other part of me wondered about what I would be encouraging if I gave her the money – would her parents keep putting her though this, would she be too tired to attend school, did she even get to attend school? It was hard to say no, and that wasn’t the last time or even the hardest, however I believed then and still do now that the chain reaction of supporting that behaviour is much worse and outweighs the short-term satisfaction of ‘helping out’. It would be better to volunteer as a teacher, or support a charity when I have the means to do so.
I constantly like to question my ideas and values – which is both a gift and a curse. It is good to be open to change and other ideas, however I feel that it is important to have a solid foundation of core values as this enables you to live with integrity and gain respect from others, especially the people who you want to surround yourself with in order to ensure you are constantly developing as a person. Some of my core ideas are to always respect others (any living organism!), recognise the importance of living in harmony with nature, and be kind.
In working with others I feel that being empathetic is a valuable trait, however having conflict resolution skills is also very important – throughout my life as a student and then as a working professional I have had to work with others. I did find that in my professional life, I found it easier to break my notions of what it meant to be ‘nice’ in that it got easier to voice my opinion if I didn’t necessarily agree with something, and knowing that although some people do not appreciate conflict, it is a healthy part of our society, it enables new ideas and change!